Owl beer makes beautiful music

This is what I am going to go with anyway.  Usually, no, ALWAYS, I'm a red wine kinda gal.  But while waiting for our meal at Sips Cafe, my love tells me about this Japanese beer that has an owl on the label.  Ummmm, not to mention the owl is also on the CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So obviously I order one so I can have the cap, right? ABSOLUTELY!  Well not only was it a gorgeous bottle, but it was actually really delicious.  And now I am thinking that it might have magical powers.....again, that it what I am going to go with......

We start singing and something transforms.  I have NO fear.  None.  Even though it has been over 4 years that I have been on the stage on a regular basis, it never ceases to be a tad bit terrifying.....

But tonight there was something different.  There was just songs (and incredibly gorgeous lighting). And my voice seemed free and the notes that normally would never have happened, happened.  It was honestly the most wonderful show that i can recall in a long time, and probably ever......

Was it the owl beer?  Who knows?  Maybe it's all this energy work?  Whatever it is, I'll take it! Wondering if I should carry a case in the car and ask them to chill one before each show wherever we go..... is that totally bizarre?  It could just become my trademark..... and think of all those gorgeous caps!

              We'll be at Mainely Meat on Main tonight.  Come on down to hear a few lovely melodies.......

                                    Have a lovely weekend luvvies!  xoxo Suz......and Gibb! <3

Linking up with Needle and Nest Design: What they never told you about..... Mamahood

So, I'm in therapy, as most of you know.  Everyone should be in therapy by the way, the world would be a better place.  Anyway, what we spoke about today was my continuation to struggle to get along with my lovely boy Oliver.  Of course there is always the "who does he remind you of?"  what do you do when you get angry? how does it make you feel in that moment, blah blah blah (please don't get the impression that my therapist is "typical" she is the opposite really and is a SAINT), but today we just talked about how i have far too many expectations.

I grew up as an only child with very limited interaction with small children.  Frankly, i can remember so vividly being irritated beyond words at children that were not all that much younger than me, but ohhhhh how they drove me NUTS!  they are so loud......and strange.......

So here i am, children of my own.  And they are loud....and strange.....

And i have these expectations that really don't make much sense when you stand back and look at the big picture.  You see, in my head, i think that if you don't pick up your toys RIGHT NOW and i let you get away with not doing it RIGHT NOW, that this will instill a belief that you are not responsible for your actions.....

Ummmmmmm..... hello mama suz? HE'S THREE.

But none the less, this is where i go.  So, what is the answer?  It's already been said.  HE IS THREE.

Veeeeery simple.  His brain does not work like an adult, therefore, he is not associating getting out of picking up as a form of vindictive behavior and certainly not thinking he doesn't have to take responsibility.  What he IS picking up is my bat-shit-crazy reaction.  I'm a yeller.  Not proud mind you, but a yeller through and through. 

She said to me today, "if he was deaf, you wouldn't keep expecting him to hear, would you?"
oy vey! so simple, but so effective.  EXACTLY what i needed to hear!

I'ts a long road ahead, but i am certain things will be better.  I'm going to try and do less yelling, less caring about toys being picked up and focus more on the funny moments i have been missing.  I am missing out on a lot, and it's a shame.  The days are long, the years are short, ay? Ay.  I'm leaving you with something that one of our midwives printed for us during our Mindfulness Based Childbirth class, for some reason reading this seems fitting.  For a long time i have been living my days waiting for them to end.  This is tragic and just plain unnecessary.  I am going to try and read this every single day....

The Miracle of Mindfulness

There are two ways to wash the dishes...

The first is in order to clean the dishes.

The second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes.

If while washing the dishes we think only of the cup of tea which awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not alive at the time we are washing them.  In fact, we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink.  If we can't wash the dishes, we won't be able to drink our tea either.  While drinking we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands.

This we are sucked away into the future and we are actually incapable of living one minute of life.

Thich Naht Hahn   

 

Much love, muah!

Suz

Silent Sunday

                              xoxo Suz...and a snowy Murphy

Who is THIS Babe?

I have done an introductory post about what a "Babe" is. But didn't enlighten you as to who THIS babe is.

Where to begin.....?  Well, of course, I'm a mum.  A cra-hay-zee mum.  I say this jokingly, but am somewhat serious.  maybe "crazy" isn't the word, but it's the most fun to spell out how i talk and the easiest to describe.  i have this little battle with anxiety that has recently become very present in my life and i am currently trying to change it.  i don't know if it's becoming a mother that made it all come to a head, but it's being a mother that makes me want to not feel this way so that i can be a better mum and actually enjoy these days rather than wish them away.  BUT thanks to incredible family and friends and energy work, i'm on the mend!  i like to talk about this because i feel like anxiety is such a common thing for people to have.  sometimes it's not so intense, but for a lot of people it is and it's not unusual and they don't have to live like that.  you can choose your method of help, but i personally, am drawn to the alternative.  i understand fully that sometimes medicine is an absolute necessity, but i just wasn't comfortable with that.  i felt like i needed to get to the root of the problem and figure out WHY i have this anxiety, not shove it down further (which is probably why it's all exploding, ay?? ay.).

I started seeing a psychotherapist specializing in clinical hypnotherapy, reiki and EMDR and it. has. changed. my. life.  Don't get me wrong, we have A LONG way to go, but in the short time i have been going to see her, the difference is unbelievable.  again, not out of the woods luvvies.  i still have anxiety, still get a little crazy, but in turn i have this incredible new found confidence that i don't know if i can describe.  i have a new outlook, a strong motivation and awareness.  it can only get better from here.  We all get this build up of.... LIFE.  things happen to us, things that aren't even "significant" and it just adds up and adds up and adds up until BAM!  not everyone, but a lot of people.... many more than you would think.  i don't want to be that person anymore, that "crazy" part isn't doing any good for the "real" mama suz.  i want to have fun with my kids and have them remember me as someone that loved life, not someone that got crazy mad and screamed all the time.

So, these days, we dance in the living room.  We do yoga.  We paint..... And lately, I feel better.

 I also, am a singer.  Singing is the one time that i can really feel heard (which is a deep issue for me, funny how we find ways to try and heal ourselves subconsciously???).  It's been this incredible outlet for me as a mum to well, GET OUT.  but to get IT out.  through music i can release all of this pent up whatever whatever and turn it into song and rhythm and soul.  how great is THAT?  oh, AND i can also pay rent and buy foodskees, can't complain there!

 Oh, and did i mention that i also get to sing and play all this music with the love of my life?????  holy moly!  for realskees, i feel as though sometimes i have won the lottery.  not in riches of giant piles of cash, but a whole lotta' love.  really.  This boy i have is as good as it gets.  My love with Gibb is one that people envy.
                                                              
 there, i said it.

 it's true.  is it perfect? nope.  has it been a bumpy road?  yup. but to be where we are today, in THIS moment? I would do it all over 1000% times.  He is a support like no other.  Somehow, after 10 years, 2 kids and everything that comes along with it all, he still loves me.  We love each other MORE after it all.  That's worth more than a pile of cash any day.

 Novel alert!  Sorry.  another thing about me is that when i feel like talkin' (or in this case, writing)  i can go on and on.....  maybe we'll finish with a list....

~I'm an eclectic artist
~having pink in my hair makes me happy INSTANTLY
~iced coffee does the same
~certain songs can get me through the day
~and i LOVE my dog.  he saved me just as much as therapy.  i lost my beloved calvin which was somewhat the straw in my situation, he led me to the path i am on in some way.  days after his death i found murphy.  he ironically (or maybe not, how can such things be pure coincidence???), he is Calvin's nephew.  whoa. i will leave you with a photo of  both of them.

Calvin <3

Murphy <3

much love to you, muah!
xoxo Suz

What They Never Told You About: Infancy- Linking up with Needle and Nest Design

As some of you know, my first reaction after taking Mr. Oliver home was "who dropped this baby off and what do i do with it???"

Sweet Baby Oliver

You see, even though when you get pregnant you totally know that eventually you will get : A BABY.  (duh??) ,when it actually HAPPENS, you find yourself wondering, " oh my goodness!  who on earth thought it was a good idea to be in charge of the well being of this little creature?!?!?"

But the good thing is, they are resilient, and just as new to all of this as you are :)  And even in those moments when you think you just can't do it anymore.... you do.  And all of a sudden you get it.  You figure out their quirks, their likes and dislikes...sometimes they throw you in the opposite direction and you seem to be starting all over again.  i'm not sure if that part ever goes away.... but it's all part of it.

 And then, sometimes, you get this cray-hay-zeeee idea to do it all over again! (VERY close together in my case!!!)

Sweet Baby Gibbson

                                         But how can you resist, really? oy, look at that face!

AND THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Best buds for life......

 And then there is the best thing EVER.  Three of the best dudes THIS mama could ever ask for.  Mine forever and ever.  They might make you nuts....ok, they WILL make you nuts.  There will be moments that you swear you can't do it for one more second.  But you do.  And you would do it again a thousand times just for small moments like this.....

 

Much love to you and your babes (even if they are still only but a thought)

<3 Suz

Linking up today with the lovely:

Needle and Nest Design

FULL February Meal Plan!

Ok luvvies!  As planned, I am sharing my meal plan for the month of February.  This would be a great time to try this out for yourselves, it's the shortest month out of the year! Baby steps!

I'm going to provide a few links to some dishes on here that i got inspiration from.  I don't follow recipes, and cooking for me is like interpretive dance.  Most of the time when i dream up something to cook, i cook it in my head first, then just have at it.  If you have the time, just sit down and number a piece of paper 1-28 and write as many meals as you can think of, once you have them all written down, arrange them in a way that makes sense for your weeks.  Does your kid have a game on Saturday?  Make sure it's something easy.  Are you going to someone's house for dinner? NO cooking for you that night!  It's so so so easy, and the best part is, when someone asks "what's for dinner" you know exactly what to say!  Go on and try! I dare ya!!  Let me know how it goes!!

Feb. 1  Turkey Burgers and roasted potatoes
Feb. 2 Gabe's Company Party- no cooking for me!!
Feb. 3  Chicken Parmesan w/ salad  
Feb. 4  spaghetti squash pasta bake w/ hot dogs ( nitrite free, try them, you'll never go back!)
Feb. 5  Black Bean, spinach and cheese quesadillas and cilantro rice
Feb. 6  Veggie Burgers and homemade fries
Feb. 7  Gig at Finn's- no cooking for me!
Feb  8  real meatball sliders (yes, i said REAL meat. we often have fake meatballs, so i had to specify ;o) )
Feb. 9  crock pot bbq chicken w/ arugula
Feb.10 Flat out pizza
Feb.11 steak, au gratin potatoes, broccoli, green beans, carrots ( because we buy the nature place steak, the cuts are not usually as big so we substitute with lots of sides of veggies)
Feb.12 roasted veggie calzones
Feb.13 chicken pitas with tzatziki
Feb.14 Valentines Day!!!!!!  Appetizer night!!!  Still working on this one, need to make everything heart shaped though, duhhhhhhhhh :)
Feb.15 Egg rolls and garlic soba noodles
Feb. 16 Bean and cheese wraps w/ cilantro quinoa
Feb. 17 Cheesy Broccoli Quinoa
Feb. 18Chicken dagwoods
Feb. 19 Chick pea Taquitos
Feb. 20 playing a show at Sips, no cooking for me!!!
Feb. 21 hummus pasta bake, salad and cauliflower cheese sticks
Feb. 22 veggie quiche and potatoes
Feb. 23 playing at Mainely Meat on Main!  No cooking for me!  (this is a good week!!!!!)
Feb. 24 Homemade pizza
Feb. 25 Honey mustard chicken and roasted veggies (make extra honey mustard chicken for tomorrow night)
Feb. 26 Chicken salads and breadsticks
Feb. 27 Veggie egg sandwiches and potatoes
Feb. 28 Beef and Barley Stew
Mar. 1 pasta bake and salad
Mar. 2 loaded turkey tacos

Aunt Peg

Anyone that knew her knows that she was honestly one of the best human beings ever to live on this earth.  Really.  Not just, "she was a great woman", that's not enough.  She brought new meaning to the words "accepting" and "kindhearted".  She left this world a year ago today, but she left it a better place...even though my world will never be the same without her.  she is around though.  i now understand when people say they can "feel" their loved ones around them.  it's not every day, but she is around.  whether it be all the hundreds of birds that spent the summer in my parents yard (NEVER in my life did i see so many birds there!) or when my beloved dog (who she ADORED) was hit in front of our house, as i approached him i felt her presence so strongly like she was there with him.  It doesn't make it any easier.  It is never going to be the same as when I could talk to her whenever I wanted.  It just won't.  But i will always remember her and always strive to be a better person like she was.  I will always be exactly who i want to be because she was the one person that ALWAYS accepted me for just that, and embraced it and encouraged it.  that's all anyone could ever want in a person.  the best gift anyone can give is complete and total appreciation and acceptance.  she gave the world that and more.

“Every heart that has beat strong and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind.“
~Robert Louis Stevenson